The idea of love at first sight appeals to many of us raised on romantic comedies. Who wouldn’t like the idea that finding our soul mate, or just someone with whom we are compatible, could be so simple? But like most rewarding ventures, finding the right one requires trial and error, patience and time. Keep in mind that a fast courtship can frequently lead to a fast divorce or breakup.
Saying the “L word” too soon
The appropriate time to say “I love you” is when you are sure that these are your real feelings and are relatively certain that your significant other reciprocates the feeling. Rushing a relationship by proclaiming your love too soon can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or a relationship with a false foundation if the sentiment is returned merely to avoid awkwardness.
Moving in together too fast
Moving in together can be the right decision if the relationship is stable and relatively mature. However, if you are moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend just to make the rent, consider getting a roommate instead. Moving in together to “make the relationship stronger” is another classic mistake, which ends up working roughly zero percent of the time. If you can’t make it work while seeing each other a few times a week, the cure is not constant exposure day in, day out.
Ramifications of getting married too soon
The main reason not to rush into marriage is to avoid divorce. Divorce comes with a grab bag of emotional misery: Hurt feelings, legal bills, children traumatized by divorce, custody battles, needing to sell a house in a hurry, friends with divided loyalty, time and hassle, delayed or missed to opportunity to meet the right person, depression, anxiety, stress, guilt, anger, and resentment. So just don’t do it; it isn’t worth it.
The marriage style of choice for the rushed couple in love is eloping. If you are considering eloping, ask yourself whether or not this is really the best choice. Services such as Cheap and Fast Divorce exist for a reason, and are often the solution when things go too far too fast.
If someone seems too good to be true, he or she probably is. After all, people who know exactly what other people want to hear tend to be master manipulators, players with way too much experience, or even garden-variety sociopaths. Real love is usually sweet and awkward; some of the best relationships start off as friendships before blossoming into something more. Most great relationships at least take time, so slow it down a bit.