Ensure Your Children Know You Love Them
Children are sensitive, and they know when love has died within a marriage. Unfortunately, they worry if you don’t love your mate anymore, you don’t them either. You must tell them, repeatedly, that you still love them. The most important thing they need to get them through this difficult time is your love.
Tell Them It’s Not Their Fault
While this may seem obvious to the adults, most children feel some sort of guilt when their parents break up. They worry they’ve done something wrong to cause their parents to divorce. You must reassure your children that they had nothing to do with your divorce.
Tell Them the Truth – Within Reason
Children are naturally curious and will want to know what is going on. Obviously, divorces are complicated, and spilling all the ugly details to your child will only hurt them. But you can keep them informed. For example, “Daddy is going to get a new house and live in Vancouver” is a better option than, “We can’t stand each other, so I’m kicking him out of the house.” Tell them what they need to know in age-appropriate terms.
Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep
As you draw up your divorce papers, you will be deciding many issues: visitation, custody, payment for child care and college tuition. Valerie M. Little Law Corporation, Langley divorce lawyers, recommends using discretion when making promises to your children. In an effort to soothe your children, you might say something like, “You can go to Mommy’s house whenever you want.” But you are only setting them for more feelings of betrayal if you can’t follow through or if Mommy is moving out of the country.
Love Them More Than You Hate Your Ex
Divorce lawyers have offices full of bitter spouses bent on revenge. Retribution at the expense of your children’s emotional health is never worth it. Your ex, no matter how much you despise them, will always have that special bond with your child. So every time you curse them or point out their bad behavior, you hurt your children. It takes a strong person, but you must love your children more than you hate your spouse.
Divorce can be devastating for everyone involved. But with your love and reassurance, your children will get through it, and they will be okay.